Bigfoot Abducted by UFO

By: admin
Squaw, Washington
by Kent Clark

Bigfoot was recently abducted by a UFO (unidentified flying object). "I was walking along, just minding my own business, when all the sudden I see a really bright light in the sky", Bigfoot told our reporter. "The next thing I know, I am being lifted up into the spaceship", Bigfoot explained. The whole situation has caused a great deal of stress for Bigfoot, whose life had been very simple and uncomplicated. But now Bigfoot seems confused and aimless. Bigfoot has expressed the desire to return to his simple life of scourging and gathering berries. The long term effects of this alien abduction are not currently known, although Bigfoot seems fine and very healthy in his present state. Bigfoot refused to give this reporter (or any other reporter) any details about what took place during the abduction, so we can only speculate.

It is believed by this reporter that Bigfoot was abducted only to get a sample of his DNA. And that once the sample was obtained, Bigfoot was returned to Earth unharmed, shaken and confused, but unharmed.

Bigfoot Abducted by UFO

"The next time I see bright lights in the sky coming towards me, I am going to run like hell", Bigfoot said. This reporter for one believes that this is great advice for everybody to live by, so if you see lights in the sky, by all means just run like hell.

Posted January 06, 2013 in News

Godzilla Vacations in Arizona

By: admin
Our reporter recently spotted Godzilla vacationing in Arizona. Our reporter was lucky enough to snap several photos of Godzilla enjoying himself in the Arizona sun.
Godzilla in Arizona
Godzilla is scheduled to spend the next two weeks vacationing and soaking up the sun in Arizona.
Godzilla in Arizona
According to his spokesman, Godzilla needed to get away from the hustle and bustle of big city life in Tokyo. Godzilla also recently announced his marrige to Bigfoot, although Bigfoot was not seen on vacation with Godzilla. The two are scheduled to be married later this month, it is believed by this reporter.

Godzilla was also seen sporting an open wound and when questioned about this he explained that he had fallen off of a cliff, but he said that he was fine and the injury was not serious and would not affect his wedding plans.
Godzilla in Arizona on Vacation
In spite of the injury, Godzilla said that he is really enjoying his vacation in Arizona, and the photos seem to support that assertion. This reporter will add more to this story when new information is obtained and learned.

Posted January 06, 2013 in News

587 Year Old Man Found Alive

By: admin
Zesueau, China
The worlds oldest living man was discovered today in Zesueau China. He is 587 Years Old and was previously believed to be dead for the last 500 years. However, it was discovered that he was not really dead, only sleeping very deeply. Or some believe that he was actually in a coma. But whatever the case, he is alive and well. As for his unusualy old age, he attributes his longevity to 'living the easy life and sleeping at least 20 hours per day'.
587 year old man
When asked by one reporter what he plans to do now he promptly fell asleep before being able to answer the question. Some 15 hours later he awoke and finally answered the question. "I think that I should find a wife and start a family", the old man said. "Maybe I will buy a farm and become a farmer, Yes, I have always wanted to be a farmer", the old man added. It is believed that he is the world's oldest living person, although this has not yet been confirmed.

Posted January 06, 2013 in News

Senator Bohner Finds Natural Gas in Backyard

By: admin
Butte Kentucky - 12-28-2012

Senator Bohner announced today that he has discovered natural gas in his backyard. "The ground started rumbling and then there was this odd smell and then a very loud hissing sound coming from the ground", the Senator said. "At first I just thought that it was thunder, but there was no lightning in the area and the sky was clear", the Senator added. The senator said that when he smelled a foul odor coming from the ground that he called the gas company. The gas company however could not find any of its own gas pipes under the senators backyard and a surveyer later confirmed that the senators backyard laid on a huge reserve of gas. It is estimated that there are over 10 billion gallons of gas under the Senator's back yard. "I will have enough gas for 1000 winters, or maybe even more", the Senator said.

20130106-gas-backyard2.jpg

An industrial scale natural gas extractor was installed in the Senators backyard and is currently producing about 1000 gallons of gas per minute. The Senator made clear that he is not sure what he is going to do with all the gas, but he is considering selling it to the gas company. He is also considering changing all of his vehicles over to run on natural gas. "All of the sudden I am the biggest supporter of natural gas", Senator Bohner said. "I also am the worlds largest producer of natural gas", the Senator added exhuberantly.
Read More »

Posted January 06, 2013 in News

Godzilla to Marry Bigfoot

By: admin
Reporting from Washington State,
by Kent Clark
A spokesman for Godzilla announced today that a wedding has been planned and announced between Godzilla and Bigfoot.
Godzilla To Marry Bigfoot
Many fans of both Godzilla and Bigfoot were shocked and surprised and yes even awed by this announcment and breaking news. Although details were sketchy and few and even far between, it is believed by this reporter that the wedding will take place in early April and most likely will take place in Washington state, Bigfoots home state. It is also believed that the honeymoon will take place in Tokyo, Japan, Godzilla's home town. And residents in Tokyo are both excited and also bracing themselves for the honeymoon event. The marrige will be the first for bigfoot, but will be the fifth for Godzilla. Godzilla's previous marriges have all been disasters, with his last marrige lasting only about three hours. Godzilla's spokesman has said that this time it is real love and that this marrige will last the test of time. "More details about the wedding will be forthcoming in the next few days and weeks", Godzilla's spokesman said. Real News will keep you up to date on all the important details of this story as soon as more information can be obtained.......Stay Tuned........

Posted January 06, 2013 in News

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